Notes on my cork board.

I have a cork board next to my desk that I use as a vision board. I have some beautiful pictures of places I’d like to see, some goals I have, and a few key phrases that I remind myself about. This morning, two of those stood out: “peace of mind” and “presence.”

These are just words, but when weight is put on them, they become exponentially more significant. As a parent, they can mean everything. When we are present with our kids, things just go smoother, and when we have peace of mind, we are more able to be a part of our kids' lives. Honestly, one leads to the other. They are intertwined. When we have peace of mind, we can be present, and when we are present, we can have peace of mind.

These words are actually a pretty big ask when our kids are little. Our little kids are great at it. They are fully engaged in whatever task is before them. Their world is right here and right now. Meanwhile, our brains are so busy that our world is “elsewhere” and “not now.” We miss stuff. We miss moments with our kids, the sunset, moments with our significant other, the taste of a good dinner, the smell of the summer breeze. Our brains are off to the next moment. Every now and then, we find ourselves in the present, and it almost brings tears to our eyes.

The thing is - as a mom - we have to plan. We have to be thinking of that next step. We have to plan out tomorrow, pack lunches, figure out carpool, remember to check on homework. It’s like we’re trying to juggle while riding a unicycle on a tightrope over a shark tank. No pressure, right?

So, how do we find this elusive “presence” amidst the chaos of parenting? Let’s talk real quick about how our agenda and to-do lists can actually help bring us into the present moment.

First off, let’s accept that we can’t just tell our brain to be present. It doesn’t work like that. You can’t simply command your mind to shut off the incessant planning, worrying, and multitasking. If only it were that easy, we’d all be Zen masters. But fear not, because there are practical ways to reel your scattered mind back into the here and now.

One way to do this is through laughter. When was the last time you had a good, hearty laugh with your kids? Not just a polite chuckle, but a full-on belly laugh that leaves you gasping for air? Laughter is an incredible way to anchor yourself in the present. It’s hard to think about the grocery list when you’re laughing at your kid’s goofy dance moves.

Another method is through engaging your senses. Try this: next time you’re eating a meal, actually taste it. I know, revolutionary, right? Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and just savor the flavors. Or, take a moment to smell a flower, really breathe in its fragrance. When you actively use your senses, you pull your mind back from its wanderings.

A third technique is to name things you see. This might sound a bit silly, but it works. Look around you and silently name what you see: a blue sofa, a red book, a green plant. This simple exercise can ground you in the present moment and help you appreciate the world around you.

Now, let’s not forget the trusty checklist. Oh, how I love a good checklist. There’s something deeply satisfying about crossing off tasks. It’s like a little pat on the back, a tangible proof that you’re getting things done. Checklists can help organize the chaos, making it easier to focus on one thing at a time, and, as a result, be more present.

But here’s a twist: make a “presence” checklist. Include things like “sit and play with the kids for 10 minutes,” “enjoy a cup of tea without multitasking,” “take a 5-minute walk and notice nature.” These small, intentional acts can make a big difference.

Let’s be real, though. We’re not aiming for perfection here. We’re not trying to become serene, blissed-out yogis floating through our days. We’re parents. We’re in the trenches. But if we can snag a few moments of true presence, it can change our day. It can change our kids’ day. It can change everything.

So, put “be present” on your to-do list. Find those moments of peace of mind. Laugh, smell the flowers, taste your food, name the things around you. And give yourself grace on the days when it feels impossible. Because being present isn’t about perfection. It’s about those little moments when we really show up, right here, right now.